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Fish-Diploma Is Being Caught Well

Fish-Diploma Is Being Caught Well
Grechaninov Vladimir 07.06.2011

Recently I found out new educational institution in our city district. Some Russian State University of Trade and Economic got placed directly near metro station, in a cellar of ragged khrushchyovka. The name is written on the tablet with Moscow emblem. A spittoon with stubs and a stone flowerpot with pansies are under the tablet, all is simple, home-style, reminds a smoking-room on a native motor depot. Earlier the place was occupied by footwear repair or something similar, now footwear isn't actual, we have nanotechnologies everywhere, therefore repair has been kicked out and next university appears. A higher educational institution. It's a simple thing, to open new university is as easy as pissing.

On a nearby column one can see advertisement of another Moscow university but already of the state management, in abbreviated form MUGU. Almost the Moscow State University, only, probably, better one. As the students of budgetary branch are given ironclad promise to be employed. Of course they will be employed, I have no doubts as uncle Kolya - brother-in-law - works as the driver for some bold head in mayoralty, aunt Zina takes bribes in justice, if they won't help their Vasenka! Especially, if Vasenka pays the diploma of such MUGU or something even more asskicking like Luzhkov's MUM (the Moscow International University). Certainly, they will help and our power structures will be appended with one egghead intellectual.

Frightful to think of the quantity of high quality experts which our higher school would give burst to in the nearest future! The guys have already paid for necessary scores to pass Unified State Examination successfully, diplomas are almost at hand. Now imagine - there is a good vacancy and graduates of the Moscow State University, Cambridge and something like this MUGU-MUM apply for it. Such personalities as Sliska, Baburin, Luzhkov teach in these MUGU-MUM (and they really teach) as well as, clearly, other titans of thought.

Well, what do you think who will receive the job?

We in general have very interesting situation with education. New high schools appear every year, while good specialists disappear. There is Higher School of Economics and there's no economics in the country. I don't want even to mention here doctors and teachers graduated from higher schools recently though the old generation also was not good at it. Here you are new universities of unknown to the world sciences! It could creep one out!

May be old ones will be enough!? On the other hand, what do we need experts for while we have gas and oil running in our pipes? We are not proud, we will survive without them. It turns out, it's possible to play the piano without conservatories, nothing's special. While there's a lot of use.

Firstly, it is ostensibly possible to make money out of giving lectures. It is very useful when the public asks whence you get money. Secondly, it is possible to give Kolyan, Tolyan and also the brother-in-law and other rural relatives some cushy job so that nobody would have questions. Sod off, they have diplomas.

If to speak about capitalization of this business, if to multiply annual quantity of stupid entrants by the average size of entrance fee, you will receive such profitableness that it's possible to live without oil. The main thing is that educated intelligentsia brings only harm and vexation of spirit which we don't need in view of the coming elections.


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